ministry

Look, I have been frustrated as of late, with a very particular annoyance. It seems that my plans for my life and Gods plans for my life are vastly different. I typically find myself drawn into something that I wouldn't intend for myself of my own volition. Often I can say, "Your will be done," but lately, I am too tired, and generally have been accomplishing very little that is tangible.

I would love to be out there, full-tilt, preaching the gospel, reaching out to the oppressed and marginalized, and making the most of the hours that I have felt have been wasting away.
But, this is a very sad commentary on things, and one which makes me look like a victim, and God much like a boss or a supervisor. I have failed in this area, to see what a blessing I have been given. During all my tremblings over my impatience with a God who, "still isn't using me." I have missed the point!!!

Here I have spent the last 19ish years learning and growing, sometimes intentionally, and most often by God's marvelous grace alone. I have learned trades, arts, talents, leadership, etc. all for the sake of use in ministry. However, I don't know how it is all going to work. What and when will God use these things in their fullness? When will I be able to give as fully as I have been receiving? All seemingly good questions, but they all lack a crucial element.
I once said that if God were to give me a small piece of sod to water and mow in the kingdom, that I would rather have that and do it well, then to be overwhelmed and only half-perform. I would like to come before God and be able to be confident that his grace was motivation enough to fully care for that little patch of earth. If I am not content with that, then what? We seek the "Well done, good and faithful servant, " not, "much done" yes? (I am speaking metaphorically, as I don't think God's will for our lives revolves singularly around tasks, petty or not.)
Much more, much richer, much dearer, much stronger, and much livelier is the task he has granted me. It is a task, that if I let it, will consume my entire life. It is a task that is underrated, underworked, with a bountiful harvest. It is the most precious of treasures. And aside from its metaphoric connection to that most beautiful of treasures, the kerygma, the gospel, the life/word, logos, it is the greatest conception that God ever bestowed upon man, and one that he orginated at the start of it all. Woman.

Space and time will not allow me to delve into the depths of this subject. O, for a thousand tongues to sing my Redeemer's praise, I think no less than 3 employed at length would need to sing of my love for my wife. It is that glorious companionship and love that men so deeply need.
So, that is my ministry. One day, I will know what vocational direction I am to go. I will know what the next step is. But ultiamately, that has nothing to do with this.

To conclude, it's simple: I proclaim the gospel in my love for my wife. I mean seriously, what more could you want?